Do Parents have Favorites?


Siblings (Photo credit: James Dennes)

I’ve posed this question many times before and have received varying responses.  Some have actually become upset that I would insinuate that they “love” one child over the other(s).  Others have been blunt in admitting that they do.  I very much believe that parents have favorites.  I know first-hand from my own family dynamic of this truth.  My mom favors another sibling(s) more than me.

I don’t have any children of my own, but have plenty of nieces and a nephew.  I see them so much I might as well consider them my children.  I have a favorite.  (For the mere fact that I don’t want to start conflict at home I will cowardly withhold naming names).  I have a favorite cousin (they know who they are).  A favorite sibling (not sure if they realize it).  I have a favorite to practically anything.  Pizza.  Ice cream.  You name it.

It is human nature to favor one over the other.  Or at least I think so.

I think it would be wise to EMPHASIZE that I view favoritism in a different manner than others.  Just because someone or something is my favorite does not mean that I don’t like or even love the other person/thing.  When it comes to people it is more so the person I feel I am most like.  The person that gets me the best and that has similar interests to mine.

Just because I favor a sibling over another does mean that I don’t like my other siblings (I have 4 siblings).  In that case I just get better along with that sibling.  Sure, there are days my family annoys me to no end.  But it doesn’t deter the fact that they are my family.  I actually don’t think it is normal if you don’t once in a while “fight” with your siblings.

I should also EMPHASIZE that I don’t think my mother doesn’t love me.  In fact, I think she loves me terribly so (I suspect it a combination of my amazing personality (lol) and the similarities I share with my father who watches over us from heaven).   My love and appreciation for my mother is unmatched and eternal.

I should also EMPHASIZE before I get angry texts from my siblings that I love all my nieces and nephew.  Anyone who knows me knows that I’m sincere in my affection for them all.

My point is that I think everyone has a favorite.  You can love all your children and still have a favorite.

So my question to you is simple:

Do parents have favorites?


*Looking forward to what may be a heated discussion.


Twitter: @adrakontaidis & @talkrealdebate


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About adrakontaidis

A conservative who doesn't pander to the GOP.

10 responses to “Do Parents have Favorites?”

  1. tlf says :

    I won’t say that I have favorites(although my kids might say different.) However, I do prefer one daughter over the other for certain things. For instance, I like to take walks more with daughter A, where I enjoy shopping more with daughter B.

    • realtalkrealdebate says :

      But, if you had to be completely honest can you easily say you don’t have a favorite child. Remember I don’t think that necessarily means you love one more than the other.

      Thanks for the comment!

  2. gardenaki says :

    I would be shocked if you consider me your favorite sibling! Lol I always thought it was your other sister.

  3. gardenaki says :

    Ha! I know who your favorite niece is….

  4. reasoningpolitics says :

    This is one of those things that;s inherently true, but most will never admit to.

  5. JF Owen says :

    I’m betting that your early life revolved around the phrase, “Mom, he’s picking on me again.” and it was probably because you liked to stir up trouble just for the fun of it.

    I doubt whether parents ever consciously think, or perhaps even accept, that they have a favorite child but most probably have one that they feel closer to. There’s a difference between those two concepts that is subtle but real.

    Whether it’s because of genetics or circumstance, I think often one child emulates and identifies with a parent more than his or her siblings. It might be one who shares certain personality traits or maybe one who shares a love of the same interests. Whatever the link, it makes the bond with that child ever so much slightly stronger than the others.

    In my case, my daughter and I both have a strong independent streak. That was the catalyst for a fiery period during her teenage years, but it has evolved into a deep bond as time went by; we understand each other and react similarly under the same set of circumstances.

    My son is more passive and low key, like his mother. Where I would favor action, he tends to hold back to evaluate and ponder. He and his mother make less mistakes but his sister and I get more done. Arguments can be made either way for which set of traits is more effective.

    Regardless, it’s easier for me to understand my daughter than it is for me to understand my son. It doesn’t mean I love one more than the other, but maybe it does make one my favorite.

    “Linda, this guy’s pickin’ on me”

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